You Know You're a Utahn If..
I’d like to think I was clever enough to come up with some of this, but I’m not……I’ve only lived it, as have you. I’d like to give proper credit to whomever captured these observations, but it would be a huge list and you’d be on it somewhere.
You might be a "Utahan" if.......
You keep your clothes in "Chester Drawers"
You don't pronounce T's in the middle of words. (Moun'n, Lay'n)
If there is a G at the end of a word you treat it as if it were silent.
You know what Fry Sauce is made of.
You go to the duck pond to feed the Seagulls.
Green Jell-o with cabbage mixed in doesn't seem strange.
You can pronounce Tooele.
The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.
The largest liquor store is the state government.
You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
You can see the stars at night
You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Your family considers a trip to McDonalds a night out.
You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35mph in the left lane on the freeway.
There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but closes for the opening of hunting season.
People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
People wear socks with their sandals
There’s a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
There is also a 7-11 at every street corner
The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but ski racks are standard.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, your whole family has to go and meet them the next day, after you helped them unload their moving truck
Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door, unless you are having them over for dinner that night.
You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
I’d like to think I was clever enough to come up with some of this, but I’m not……I’ve only lived it, as have you. I’d like to give proper credit to whomever captured these observations, but it would be a huge list and you’d be on it somewhere.
You might be a "Utahan" if.......
You keep your clothes in "Chester Drawers"
You don't pronounce T's in the middle of words. (Moun'n, Lay'n)
If there is a G at the end of a word you treat it as if it were silent.
You know what Fry Sauce is made of.
You go to the duck pond to feed the Seagulls.
Green Jell-o with cabbage mixed in doesn't seem strange.
You can pronounce Tooele.
The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.
The largest liquor store is the state government.
You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
You can see the stars at night
You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Your family considers a trip to McDonalds a night out.
You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35mph in the left lane on the freeway.
There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but closes for the opening of hunting season.
People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
People wear socks with their sandals
There’s a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
There is also a 7-11 at every street corner
The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but ski racks are standard.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, your whole family has to go and meet them the next day, after you helped them unload their moving truck
Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door, unless you are having them over for dinner that night.
You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
posted by Abe Froman at 7:35 AM
1 comments
